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My AccountShelly Horton2023-08-24T20:05:23+10:00

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One year ago today, I woke up in the ICU. Scared. Shaken. And honestly, bloody angry. A routine procedure to stop perimenopausal heavy bleeding nearly killed me.

Fast forward 365 days and I’ve done something I’ve never managed before – I’ve been consistent with my health. Not perfect. Not extreme. Just consistent.

I’ve walked for an hour most days (as you’ve seen - because no post, no proof), started strength training (owwww!). Plus I’ve bumped up my protein, reduced my chocolate intake, cut back on the booze (but not given up) and protected my sleep.

My mental health is excellent after four years of perimenopausal depression that I thought would never lift.

I’ve only lost nine kilos in the year, but you know what? I feel stronger, clearer, and more in control than I have in decades.
Turns out, the real flex is feeling healthy - not chasing some unrealistic number on the scales.

I’ve made small, manageable changes and stuck to them. No fads, no bullshit, just listening to my menopause heroes and doing the work.

I’m living what I preach in my book I’m Your Peri Godmother. I can’t wait for you all to read the full story. I’m hoping my book will help others look after themselves before they hit a hormonal rock bottom.

I’m walking the walk. And damn, it feels good.

Thanks to my peri heroes who are all in the book @drmaryclaire @menopause_doctor @kellycaspersonmd @drvondawright @prof_jayashri_kulkarni I hope they realise they are actually SAVING LIVES with the work they do.

You can preorder my book now through the link in my bio. It’s out July 29.

#peri #perimenopause #menopause #perimenopausehealth #womenshealth

Five years ago today I did media training for @theinspiredunemployed

They are doing alright, I guess.

Both Jack and Falcon worked bloody hard and wanted to improve.

I’m looking forward to their new show The List.

If you want to do media training with us go to shellshockedmedia.com

Took my own advice and while filming a new online course Darren also took new headshots.

What to do you think of this one?

Photography: @d_b_robinson
HMU: @withphilippa
Hair cut and colour: @thelofthairsalon
Dress: @maiocchi_ (from years ago but I still love the colour)

My backdrop looks photoshopped but it’s actually real! @richardbuttrose @tiffsocialdiary have a beautiful farm and we spent Easter there even though I still had to do my Monday morning cross to Today Extra.

Forget work from home it’s work from farm! Just prop the computer up on a few suitcases and I’m ready to go LIVE!

Going toe to toe with John Mangos and DC and SJ about North Bondi RSL banning two up at the request of veterans. This is why we can’t have nice things!

Wearing @mottofashions and preparing for the long drive back to the Gold Coast.

Midlife Marvel superhero! Epic fail but so much fun.

I’m 51 and trying to do Avenger moves.

Ageing Avenger. Midlife Marvel. Ovaries of steel (or rust). Greatest American Shero. Peri Pauser.

What should my midlife Marvel name be?

Easter with friends on their farm has involved a lot of eating and boozing - but today we feel smug because we managed to still do a strength workout.

@richardbuttrose has a sweet set up here is his cabin gym. Ahem @tiffsocialdiary never uses it - but we loved it!

Half the workout was the trek to the cabin carrying Mr Barkley because he was too tired 🤦‍♀️

#midlifestrengthtraining #liftheavyshit

Last night I caught up with my friend @janecaro57 who has just launched an excellent crime novel The Lyrebird.

I think it’s even better than her first novel The Mother and that was a three times best seller!

She was part of the Author Series at @gclibraries which is just near where I live so I got to be a proud friend in the audience and then have dinner afterwards.

Hard relate - chubby bunny. Hard relate.

Christmas Crack - EASTER EDITION!

Rocky Road in Easter Egg shells for the win!

Recipe:

Ingredients
18 Hollow Cadbury Eggs
2 x 55g Turkish Delight
2 x 52g Cherry Ripe
1 x 150g Red Frogs
.5 packet Mixed Marshmallows
100g slivered almonds (toasted)
100g shredded coconut (toasted)
2 x 225g milk chocolate melts

Method:
Chop EVERYTHING into small pieces
Melt chocolate in glass bowl in microwave checking every 30 secs
Mix all ingredients together
Using a hot knife slice open Easter eggs.
Spoon crack into shells.
Set in fridge for a few hours
Divide up as presents
Store in fridge or freezer

Makes 32 stacked eggs and they are bloody delicious!

You’re welcome!

PS Yes I left out green Clinkers. It’s my personal protest over how gross green clinkers are but put them back in if you insist. I’m furious they take up half the Clinkers packet when they are an inferior lime flavour 😤

PPS Make sure you tag me when you make it!

#rockyroad #recipe #best #chocolate #Easter #Eastereggs #homemade

Today Extra time…

I’m so glad there is only a few weeks left of this incredibly boring election campaign. Too many outrageous promises with our money.

And parents need to step away from the school WhatsApp group if they use it to bully and spread rumours.

As always I’m wearing @mottofashions

ZERO DAY!

Feeling burnt out? It’s time to embrace my Zero Day theory.

Take a guilt-free day off to fully reset and recharge. No work, no emails—just pure relaxation.

Whether it’s indulging in a nap (I sure did) binge-watching a series (I just finished The Pitt) or enjoying family time (in my case with my hubby and puppies), prioritise your well-being.

Make this a regular part of your routine to stay refreshed and productive.

Remember, self-care isn’t selfish - it’s essential!

How did you spend your Zero Day?

#ZeroDay #SelfCare #RechargeAndReset

Even Mr Barkley is sick of me posting my workouts. Time for him to shine!

Sorry buddy, no post no proof!

@glowwithlibby Day 2 of Glow10 at home workouts to combine with my walks and strength classes.

Turns out AI Perimenopausal me looks, well, very perimenopausal!

Instead of making me look like Barbie I look more like Barbara, a recently divorced mother of two, from mid-western America who has taken up line-dancing. Barbara says it’s because “Well, gosh, I deserve a bit of darn ME time” but we know once the HRT and testosterone kicks in she’s planning to dance into the arms of a younger lover.

And the subtitle of the book sums up her brain fog “A happily every after glabs to hoiking our mansprited in the evories”

Go for it Barbara! Your Peri Godmother approves. Perhaps pre-order my book while you’re at it. #barbietrendfail #barbietrend #AIhatesme

Just wrapped a powerhouse media training session with the incredible @evelyn.ellis

At ShellShocked Media, every session is personalised. For Evelyn, we tackled autocue skills, storytelling for interviews, how to collaborate with producers to tailor scripts, and red carpet interview techniques.

Because let’s be real – being good on camera doesn’t just happen.

It takes training.

I love seeing influencers and TV presenters invest in their growth. Serena Williams didn’t win Wimbledon without lessons – and you don’t become a media pro without training either.

Want to level up like Evelyn?

Book your session now via the link in bio or shellshockedmedia.com

#mediatraining #tvpresenting #autocueskills #presenting

Back at strength class!

Oh I am going to be sore tomorrow.

Thanks @glowwithlibby

Fun MAFS wrap up on @thetodayshow with @davidcampbell73 & @sylviajeffreys

It’s only been three months but this season felt like two years! So much going on!

My sixth year hosting either the TV after show or podcast.

What on Earth will I now do with all my spare time?! Rest. I suggest rest!

Wearing @mottofashions

Did Awhina really call Adrian dumb?

The @mafs reunion saw things explode between Awhina and Adrian.

Get her take it on what went down on my final episode of the Official Married At First Sight podcast.

Watch on @9now or listen wherever you get your @9podcasts_au

#mafs #marriedatfirstsight

BLOCKED!

I think most of Australia will be cheering to know Adrian no longer has access to Awhina.

Hear from her directly after the @mafs reunion tonight on my final episode of the Official Married At First Sight podcast.

Watch on @9now or listen wherever you get your @9podcasts_au

#mafs #marriedatfirstsight

Strap yourselves in the for @mafs final reunion tonight.

It is HECTIC!

Meanwhile Awhina has spilt the tea on the whole Jacqui and Clint romance!

Check out all her goss straight after the reunion tonight on the Official Married At First Sight Podcast on @9now or wherever you get your @9podcasts_au

#mafs #marriedatfirstsight

Today Extra time!

Of course we were talking election but more importantly plane etiquette bare feet okay or hell TOE?

And is a full schnitty appropriate to bring in to eat on a plane? Another no from me.

What do you think?

Wearing @mottofashions of course.

The best thing about being Aunty Shelly to your bestie’s kids is making an early Easter super fun.

It also helps having famous friends who write kids books.

Iggy got @elliecoleswim’s book FELIX AND HIS FANTASTIC FRIENDS.

Goldie got a book from @samanthawills called MARIGOLD’S MAGIC STARS

Then an excellent Easter Egg hunt.

Not everyone has a home studio so we filmed the kids dancing so they could see themselves on TV.

Being childfree by choice is the best! We had a great day then Kristie, Sam, Darren and I had a boozey dinner and they took the kids away so we could cope with our hangovers alone today!

Perfection!

Epic fail!

Trying the viral trend of taking my progesterone tablets at night with a fatty snack.

According to @dr.amybkillen and @drmaryclaire it can really help absorption.

Ummmm except when you nearly choke on the peanut butter, then BREAK ALL THE RULES and watch the @oprah menopause revolution on your phone in bed and then doom scroll until midnight 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I’ll try again when I am not an idiot. Hi, I’m the problem it’s me!

#progesterone #HRT #perimenopause #perimenopausesleep

Not the most flattering light.

Having an MRI for my dodgy hip. Because with all of the extra exercise I’ve been doing it’s been extra dodgy.

Ultrasound showed it’s a fatty deposit (how dare they?) trapped in my hip near a lymph node.

But somehow that fatty deposit feels like my hip has been whacked with an axe if I step weirdly.

And it seems I step weirdly a lot.

Now I have to wait another month until I can see the orthopaedic surgeon.

It’s been dodgy for over ten years so I guess it’s time to get it sorted.

Getting old sucks balls.

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